tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-48423802096332636532024-02-07T01:25:06.287-05:00What ever pops into my head...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-3119794535858235552013-04-21T12:40:00.000-04:002013-04-21T12:40:27.702-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEx0yzjoXO41shvAZSEX9KlQNjNrTo6C7rXNlKwgWi1PJV7yEnanuR_vXTR1bTmfz5b1LMjme1Jw9iLR5AOt8LZw8DRh_TNcqtE8Xkf-U9augMwLR_QPx9pKgzmTpgh3orHd2F5k3560sY/s1600/barks+cartoon+in+mylap.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEx0yzjoXO41shvAZSEX9KlQNjNrTo6C7rXNlKwgWi1PJV7yEnanuR_vXTR1bTmfz5b1LMjme1Jw9iLR5AOt8LZw8DRh_TNcqtE8Xkf-U9augMwLR_QPx9pKgzmTpgh3orHd2F5k3560sY/s320/barks+cartoon+in+mylap.jpg" /></a>
This is so what I looked at last night with Barkley and Ray.... Ray wouldn't let me take a picture... :( but I found this on face book this morning and had to steal it to post here... it's says it all... hehehe love you Barks and Ray.....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-6537947793994869712013-04-20T09:18:00.002-04:002013-04-20T09:18:46.785-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQBL5L_kHit56yYVgLFnkazW7HNUxgPnL3JZQDAzTaBrfaQBbKLi2rEC_i_7_9Jk-zKO_4vuhCXfaOzGv6fwraCb_eXRGLW7tjNBLZBO-R_zFg5JlJL7gtIBKnjemf5LEGVOApWtQQSbBl/s1600/IMG_0233.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQBL5L_kHit56yYVgLFnkazW7HNUxgPnL3JZQDAzTaBrfaQBbKLi2rEC_i_7_9Jk-zKO_4vuhCXfaOzGv6fwraCb_eXRGLW7tjNBLZBO-R_zFg5JlJL7gtIBKnjemf5LEGVOApWtQQSbBl/s320/IMG_0233.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjePudRpjuK39_2AA_vB1piFGsWVGpnWS6zV9Pl9qn5hspDMaCmIHUm0vW1e7YgvAlZ3jzzM0ObkeviUr-l-LwsOb1t-T-4gpvdyN0JqckosMxUc8dzfR0dE6GQKcAGYtDz-kjJEw1vjG0e/s1600/IMG_0234.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjePudRpjuK39_2AA_vB1piFGsWVGpnWS6zV9Pl9qn5hspDMaCmIHUm0vW1e7YgvAlZ3jzzM0ObkeviUr-l-LwsOb1t-T-4gpvdyN0JqckosMxUc8dzfR0dE6GQKcAGYtDz-kjJEw1vjG0e/s320/IMG_0234.JPG" /></a>
Today at 3:32pm I became Mrs. Donna Studley 17 years ago. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I married my soul mate.
Just the fact that he and his driver manager managed to rout his loads this way so he could be home with me on our 17th Anniversary. Thanks Kim...
Once again, he didn't disappoint me in his choice of gifts. one is a vase with a button on the back and one closed single rose in it. You push the button and the rose opens up to reveal a decorated bottle cap saying I Love You. He also bought me a rain chain.
The rain chain is a string of 10 small pots that you put where a downspout is so the ray runs thru it and it makes a beautiful sound. I know what I an doing today. I will put up my rain chain because we are supposed to get rain today and I want to hear it.
I love you honey... always will...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-71474687950260266122013-04-20T09:05:00.000-04:002013-04-20T09:05:55.782-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4wI6c4vBuqoqWojdhMx_8TS4LzVDy8FvkxGNn6RJoawpM-2fvDVJa6IjcvfVwRJDD7nybJLDxvPpDj7_Xrfr20-wo4AG6RHrOKqrG63alKFVGlYANSz6VAYjAlj8sEoHdsGqwyYAxSm9/s1600/IMG_0230.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4wI6c4vBuqoqWojdhMx_8TS4LzVDy8FvkxGNn6RJoawpM-2fvDVJa6IjcvfVwRJDD7nybJLDxvPpDj7_Xrfr20-wo4AG6RHrOKqrG63alKFVGlYANSz6VAYjAlj8sEoHdsGqwyYAxSm9/s320/IMG_0230.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDHCSt0hd2IhVKbaZEq5vI1njz9X8HlN8s9VqVmX5dMmUb7Qi7St_zXqVEsDfkm0Nnrw1uu9BWB1qKL4HUXoDpm5acQ5kyRW7mCd3W5hZusWiupZBvGahKXUossCQN4lHJCJXJHqvHyFRI/s1600/IMG_0229.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDHCSt0hd2IhVKbaZEq5vI1njz9X8HlN8s9VqVmX5dMmUb7Qi7St_zXqVEsDfkm0Nnrw1uu9BWB1qKL4HUXoDpm5acQ5kyRW7mCd3W5hZusWiupZBvGahKXUossCQN4lHJCJXJHqvHyFRI/s320/IMG_0229.JPG" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpIaNF48nl5Lu1k0BUkcYkvZE4d0g3z8QQwBSQF2kz-83ksMn0GywC-Uk5sXaFoYfEMiB0wUBiP1Fo9avfg1IPaHCCNNAHAe0e5RLAkplxtGgI9aiKTxAu7zndLmcJ8PGu0O5JRdjunVVx/s1600/IMG_0232.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpIaNF48nl5Lu1k0BUkcYkvZE4d0g3z8QQwBSQF2kz-83ksMn0GywC-Uk5sXaFoYfEMiB0wUBiP1Fo9avfg1IPaHCCNNAHAe0e5RLAkplxtGgI9aiKTxAu7zndLmcJ8PGu0O5JRdjunVVx/s320/IMG_0232.JPG" /></a>
Yesterday, mom and I did our usual Friday Grocery shopping. It was a big shop because I not only had to buy for the house but I had to buy for Ray's next trip out. Yup he's home. He got home Thursday night and is here until sometime Tuesday. I am going to take advantage of actually being with my honey while he's here because I miss him so much when he isn't. Thank goodness for Barkely, he's my companion dog while Ray is over the road.
So while shopping mom found some new dog toys. After sifting thru the display she found just the new toy she wanted to buy him. Yes
Gramma Rogge likes to buy him squeak toys. This one is a squeaky hedgehog. He hasn't stopped either playing with it or protecting it from us for a day and a half now. I think he likes it Mom...
Thanks Mom for treating Barkley like one of the family... I love you.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-63734207992359707892013-04-14T14:23:00.001-04:002013-04-14T14:23:40.186-04:00A couple weeks ago Mom's ladies club group sponsored a small carnival over the two Easter weekends. on the first day they allowed people to rent spaces to sell stuff... mom rented me a space so I might be able to sell some of my craft things. so I got busy making stuff and on that Saturday it was a wonderful sunny day...
we set up my tables and set out my wares nicely and waited to start selling... talking up stuff as people stopped to look but sold very little...
it was advertised as a rummage / craft sale and I think most people came looking for the yard sale type stuff instead of the hand made stuff...
there was a girl across from me that was trying to sell handmade jewelry... her stuff was beautiful but why would I buy from her when I make my own jewelry? we spoke and she asked if maybe some time I could teach her how to sew... I said yes and now am waiting for her to have the time to come over to learn... I did get a message from her the other day saying she just checked her e-mail and replied that she would get back to me when her schedule allowed... I think it would be fun to teach someone how to sew... it's really easy to learn..
I am going to make some new stuff to add to my stash of craft things to sell... I am planning on keeping an eye out for a real craft show sometime before Christmas when I'm sure my things will sell... not at a yard sale...
Crochet kitchen towel hangers, Origami photo boxes, sore muscle bags to heat or chill, pin cushion scrap catchers, snow baby ornaments and microwave potato bags.
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I know I don't post regularly but I do give it a try... today's story is about my favorite subject. my dog, Barkley.
Yesterday was an unusual day for us... first as I was Getting ready to go grocery shopping with mom I was not paying attention to Barks. Well I guess he decided he had to "go" really badly...
I'm now ready to go but have to make one last potty break before leaving the house and when I go to the spare bathroom right in the middle of the floor is a doggie poop... I wasn't mad, upset or anything. I figured he tried to tell me but I didn't get it as I was getting ready to go out and he really had to go so he actually chose to go to the bathroom in the bathroom...
I know I should have reprimanded him with some "bad dog" stuff but I couldn't bring myself to because this is the first time since he's come to live with us that he's had an accident and it wasn't his fault... when you got to, you got to go.<a
He could have picked any place in the house including on carpet or rugs and he didn't... He went on the linoleum which made for easy clean up...
So, my amazing dog actually uses the bathroom to go to the bathroom in cases of emergency... He never ceases to amaze me in how smart he is.
Yup you guessed it, I love this animal and am so thankful to Holly and her husband for fostering him until I could find him to join our family. It's been almost a year and I can't even imagine my life without him. Neither could any of the children in my neighborhood... lolUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-4375079607606519922013-02-25T11:45:00.000-05:002013-02-25T11:45:07.645-05:00My new companion<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL0ky2pfMYkLzU8vv1_-qDblH_Hkeg7dNOHK1D3xfvUKXIhNXJ8I8UGj3cMHDmf01bTcCJNSYJRXhMuUOSVIKSZL6-_0p95DkLDtLdNUp9p_PHT3Sy_Tgyr-MRaqwx91k9H1GOJEn3eHvR/s1600/barkley+looking+out+the+window.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL0ky2pfMYkLzU8vv1_-qDblH_Hkeg7dNOHK1D3xfvUKXIhNXJ8I8UGj3cMHDmf01bTcCJNSYJRXhMuUOSVIKSZL6-_0p95DkLDtLdNUp9p_PHT3Sy_Tgyr-MRaqwx91k9H1GOJEn3eHvR/s320/barkley+looking+out+the+window.jpg" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQv6Yar7_a4E2gioc3L2jP2QIdchI42AueOcrjRDtuh_c_S4mequCiY1Sc8UjAaR9iNLhVKnihgZZg48cCpjz1mg_49NhVBbcwpq4-tGsLSU4XM4XE-cLCH7lU1EfddZnJH5hm0JVItaN/s1600/IMG_0005.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYQv6Yar7_a4E2gioc3L2jP2QIdchI42AueOcrjRDtuh_c_S4mequCiY1Sc8UjAaR9iNLhVKnihgZZg48cCpjz1mg_49NhVBbcwpq4-tGsLSU4XM4XE-cLCH7lU1EfddZnJH5hm0JVItaN/s320/IMG_0005.JPG" /></a>
It's February 25, 2013 and here I am posting on my blog... the pictures are of Barkley my new "puppy". The pic of him on his back sunning himself, I think he's channeling Emma because that was her favorite spot and favorite thing to do.
Then there is a pic with him standing up using the window sill for his front paws doing a scan to be sure everything outside our home is safe... good dog.
The last pic is of him in my lap... yes he's 70 pounds and thinks he's a lap dog... but only with me... I put my reclyiner up, he hears it and comes over and puts his head on the raised foot part and stares at me until I welcome him up...he lays between my legs on the chair and puts his head on my chest then falls asleep...
He is such a blessing to my life as my husband is an over the road trucker that is gone at least 4 weeks at a time and home for a very short 3 days. Barkley loves it when Ray comes home almost as much as I do.
Ray can play rough with Barkley unlike me and he has a huge tug 'o' war toy that they have a blast with. This last trip home while Ray was tugging Barks around I was smart enough this time to pull out the camera that does video. Yep i videoed them. Then I posted it to youtube... the title to search for it if you want to watch it (it's short) is Tug 'O' War and I think it's under a sub catagory of pets.
Oh and the pic of Barks sitting up is the one I saw on a facebook classified's website... I saw him, contacted his foster mom and went that very day to get him. He has the most beautiful markings and his eyes are so brown and as my husband puts it he looks sad... well he's not sad he's a very happy and loved rescue dog who found his forever home... with me... Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-76173953470255182442012-09-22T07:05:00.000-04:002012-09-22T08:20:56.542-04:00It's been a really long time...i know it's been a really long time, but i've had trouble getting back into life without my christian. for four years i coldn't even step into my craft room as i only started really scrapbooking the day he was born. i wanted to document his life as we were never sure when he would be taken from us. well we got to keep him with us for 8 wonderful years.
i still cry, then i think of something he had done that made me laugh and i laugh. i have pictures of him "everywhere" in my house so he is always with me in pictures, but he is always in my heart and soul. i still miss you like crazy munchkin.
this past february, actually on valentine's day, i had to say goodbye to my faithful cat emma. she was 23 years old and came out of the craft room and just looked at me and said it was time. her sister died 3 years prior. i found her in my dining room... i didn't want to find emma that way, i didn't want emma to suffer, so i did the most difficult but humane thing and had her put down.
about a month later i found this picture on a facebook website, "poinciana classifieds", of a dog. not just any dog, a black mouthed cur. he was a rescue and was presently living with a foster mom. i contacted her and now he is mine. i called animal control and transferred the paper work over to myself... yep he is MINE.
his name is Barkley, most of you know him thru facebook. he's quite the character and is quite large. about 50 to 60 pounds. he's got a great bark and i'm sure when someone comes to my house and he barks they think twice about coming in. he makes for a great watch dog. i think i've had him about 6 months??? he's very attached and loves to jump in my lap while i'm in my reclyner and sleep... yup a 50 pound lap dog. lol
anyway, i'm going to do my best to keep up with my blog and yes i'm back in my craft room so i will be posting things i make to share with you all...
love being back,
donnaUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0Poinciana, FL, USA28.1558333 -81.476388928.0438358 -81.6343174 28.267830800000002 -81.3184604tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-85243699412107895762008-12-12T08:58:00.005-05:002008-12-12T09:21:49.588-05:00I know, I know, it's been too long.... lolSo here I sit watching the morning news and checking my mail and well I decided to go over and check on my blog and notice that I haven't posted in a while so here I go.<br />I'm seriously planning on including more of my passion for playing with paper and well this is the busiest season for doing just that. <br />This year I concentrated on making stocking stuffers to hide candy in since finances are tight. I can use paper I have on hand and get big bags of candy from either the dollar tree or wally mart... lol so guess what kiddies... cavity time this year... lol<br />Of all my projects this year I have to admit the following has to be my favorite. It combines a pretty box from this link, http://tinyurl.com/6jc262 and hershey kiss mice a good internet friend of mine, Elizabeth, came up with. I think the presentation is simply well, wow... I started out just making a few for family but when I showed them to my mom she was so impressed that she took one to a couple of meetings she had that week and a couple of the people ordered some. 25 at first, 20 for a guy and 5 for a lady. The guy loved the first 20 so much he decided to order 20 more. To say I'm a bit tired of making these adorable things is quite the understatement...lol <br />Let me know what you think...<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZglw3ujxw6JCaoTtrbylZVX_3P63F_x09RlwqW5JSx5jw0v___lNp_WDdPpnhKH6mXXFaMV85zjqhToWJxwaCvlPgJMiNU5MyQkBwuBcYZPjHqBSioz2Q8MVPPZGh0ErawqLV2SVeZNUS/s1600-h/closed+mice+box.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZglw3ujxw6JCaoTtrbylZVX_3P63F_x09RlwqW5JSx5jw0v___lNp_WDdPpnhKH6mXXFaMV85zjqhToWJxwaCvlPgJMiNU5MyQkBwuBcYZPjHqBSioz2Q8MVPPZGh0ErawqLV2SVeZNUS/s320/closed+mice+box.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278907756315097522" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56uBd3BdN7qLzBMUmb2SF2EHBTy8Ki7gkXQhJiWb27v5w82og0ltAenLObBnGhhduOPshGvAeRyC_pMTOWhlxpGTM3tN43B2FsA7-LJoQhpO57SY5-4-WPCrB7sEOxWzYb4G5GP-Jypzu/s1600-h/open+mice+box.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj56uBd3BdN7qLzBMUmb2SF2EHBTy8Ki7gkXQhJiWb27v5w82og0ltAenLObBnGhhduOPshGvAeRyC_pMTOWhlxpGTM3tN43B2FsA7-LJoQhpO57SY5-4-WPCrB7sEOxWzYb4G5GP-Jypzu/s320/open+mice+box.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278907978663311970" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIsGsA15eGTOF5mPx1aUng4ldHlyMxI4JnuLpVBn0oKYsYrvGCGgvPDOHuOWehZ2SqUaSzvaMYmw0OKNe5Z8hjwldokeMBpYhictBFHiAOAfi5B5oeGrtZ6spLLSVFKAhkw-AOxDVs4gL/s1600-h/bunches+of+mice+boxes.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfIsGsA15eGTOF5mPx1aUng4ldHlyMxI4JnuLpVBn0oKYsYrvGCGgvPDOHuOWehZ2SqUaSzvaMYmw0OKNe5Z8hjwldokeMBpYhictBFHiAOAfi5B5oeGrtZ6spLLSVFKAhkw-AOxDVs4gL/s320/bunches+of+mice+boxes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278908177586092450" /></a><br />Any and all comments are welcome...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-89546183837178585502008-10-06T12:36:00.002-04:002008-10-06T12:43:30.255-04:00Happy Post FinallyWell everyone I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing much better these days. I still miss Christian so much but it is true that life goes on. I still have my days, but that is to be expected I guess.<br />My creativity is back. I've been busy designing cards and am loving it. I'll put a pic of one I did just this morning but the other two I recently worked on will have to wait to be posted. One is the card I'm using for this years Christmas cards and the other is a card front for a swap I am in. <br />Yes you read right, a swap. I haven't been involved in one for a very very long time and since it's a small one and not too expensive to ship I joined and am having a ball making them.<br />I'm going to start posting my creations in my blog as I want to change up the feeling of it. I still may post bits of my feelings, life and such but now will also add touches of my creativity as this is something I'm passionate about.<br />Thanks for dropping by... I hope you enjoy my work and maybe, just maybe, be a bit inspired to give it a go.<br />Donna<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRMfx6kLzWQGgQ1KRF0R80VabJxj4tgafYKAz9qjWdgUjS6-PpnEVjBdG-VLKg_RAAyghkp9_S13_cZLMgc3cVM2bin59bFIB4Q3lxVVP-RqpQC5iidk7-uqN_TSgiTm3G27TzIja5bxv/s1600-h/edited+christmas+card+front.jpg"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHRMfx6kLzWQGgQ1KRF0R80VabJxj4tgafYKAz9qjWdgUjS6-PpnEVjBdG-VLKg_RAAyghkp9_S13_cZLMgc3cVM2bin59bFIB4Q3lxVVP-RqpQC5iidk7-uqN_TSgiTm3G27TzIja5bxv/s320/edited+christmas+card+front.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254082130670154914" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-34749838655803558182008-07-23T23:14:00.003-04:002008-07-24T21:52:17.582-04:00Saying GoodbyeWell I just got back from a three week visit in Illinois with my daughter, her boyfriend and his two girls. It was a good visit all around. In my opinion anyway.<br />This year I was dreading the visit because of one who would not be there. One who would greet me with smiles and giggles. A little boy that would delight in visiting with his gramma.<br />Christian passed away 6 months ago on the 7th of January. His 8th birthday was on the 5th of July and of course the 4th of July was his favorite holiday because he thought all the fireworks and stuff was just for him. We are all guilty of helping him believe that.<br />So yes, this year was a hard one. His ashes are kept in a beautiful wooden box with his picture etched on the cover. I found a sense of "closure" while there. Not that I would ever forget this amazing little soul, but a sort of peace settled over me. It was like he came and showed me that it was important for us to move on with our lives and not be sad all of the time. That some day we would be together once again.<br />I'm not sure if I really believe that but it is comforting to think that it just must be so. That our lives don't just end when our bodies give out. That our souls do in fact live on and we are all reunited again in another place.<br />This vacation gave me the opportunity to say goodbye once again to my little angel. I still cry for him, though not all of the time. I still miss him calling me on the phone and leaving me cute messages. I still miss the touch of him, the smell of him and the site of him. I will always miss these things and the touch of him but I will try to keep faith that I will see him again when this body of mine is used up.<br />Until then, I will grieve for the loss of him and revel in all of the memories of this amazing little boy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-48671398550700200312008-07-08T10:27:00.002-04:002008-07-08T10:36:37.757-04:00Mixed feelingsWell, here i sit, at the library in jerseyville, il where i am supposed to be checking my mail. floated around to check on my "my space" and then here to see what i might have missed... approved a couple comments and decided to write a little something.<br />this summer trip is a bit different to say the least. it was the first time arriving to visit with Sandra that Christian wasn't also here. It was the first fourth of July that Christian wasn't at with us in 7 years and it was the first birthday he wasn't here for his party. <br />we tried to stay strong and celebrate the boy we miss so terribly. it's not always easy but somehow sandra manages to hide the sadness better than i do. she is just such a strong person outwardly even though i know inside she is dying. <br />she said something to me the other day that i found interesting. she said, "we never get over a loss like this, time does not heal all. the only thing time does is enable us to learn new routines. ones that do not include the ones we lost." it's sad for me to see my daughter so hurt and my not being able to help her. i'm her mother and i'm supposed to be able to make things all better... but not this time... i can't... i can't even make it better for myself. there is and always will be a hole in my heart now but i will go on. i will just have to wait until we are all together again.<br />now for the good news... we have new family in our lives... jeremy and his two young girls, heather and ashley are now with sandra and so with us. what a great addition to our family. new habits... see sandra, you were right... and i love you...<br />~MoM~Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-91233220622025190712008-04-23T22:35:00.002-04:002008-04-23T22:55:31.788-04:00Feeling GuiltyOkay so I was getting ready to shut down my computer and stopped to look at the picture on my desktop. It's of me and Christian. As I sit and stare at the picture I'm all of a sudden sad again. Not just from loosing him but also because I feel guilty for not crying as much as I did when he first passed away. <br />Don't get me wrong, I still cry, just not all of the time anymore. Now it's more like once in a while, like now. Why do I feel guilty? Could it be because I think if I don't cry all of the time I am forgetting about him? I could never forget about Christian. I just feel guilty that I am not as sad as I was. But I am sad, just as sad, but I think I'm accepting that he's gone. Then the next thing is I'm feeling guilty again. <br />My question is, how can i stop feeling guilty for moving on with my life, a life without my grandson in it anymore? It's a vicious cycle. Sad, cry, stop crying, and then feel guilty for not crying enough, for not thinking about him all day every day. How do I survive this? Who can help me survive this? I can't get help for this if I don't understand it. I've lost loved ones before, why is this one different. I don't like missing him, I don't like feeling guilty when I start to feel alive again and actually accept that he's gone from us on this Earth. <br />I know I have to accept the fact that I will never hold him in my arms again and that should make me sad all of the time so why don't I cry about it all the time about it? See what i mean? <br />So there you have my dilemma. I don't want to feel guilty for not crying all the time anymore. I'm really sad about Christian dying, but I still have a husband that loves me unconditionally. I still have grown kids that love me. My parents are still with me and I look at that as a huge blessing. Heck I even have a three year old grandson. I am blessed with all of this so now what?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-36108968005098950752008-04-07T23:39:00.000-04:002008-04-07T23:40:29.327-04:00this will be shorti think. but then again once i start typing sometimes it just flows.<br /><br />well today is three months since we lost our little guy and it still hurts like hell. not only for me but for us all. <br /><br />difference is that most days we are able to go on with things pretty much like "normal". it’s the nights, the quiet, the alone times that i think about him and how much i will miss him in my life. it i’m "distracted" then it seems easier.<br /><br />it’s not really easier, it’s just that that hole in my heart hurts more when i’m not busy. when he came into our lives we were forever changed and now that he’s gone from us we are once again forever changed. <br /><br />i understand that life is all about the changes that we go thru but to be honest i really think this one SUCKS. i will never understand the large scheme of things and i will never accept the fact that he’s gone and we will move on.<br /><br />i for one don’t want to "move on" without him, but i’m forced to so i will do what i am supposed to do for those around me to think i’m fine. just please at least give me my nights to feel what i really feel. to cry if i want to. to scream still if i want to. you can at least give me that, can’t you?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-32311364843148202792008-03-26T12:43:00.002-04:002008-03-26T12:50:24.194-04:00OrganizingI guess I've been hit by the spring cleaning bug. At least in my craft room. I rearranged it a few months ago and removed the big ole bulky desk that was just sitting in it collecting piles of "stuff". With that out I found I had tons of space to play with.<br />My problem is getting it set up just the way I want to make it a more productive space. I love having my favorite toys right up and close to me but, I have tons of little things in clear small containers that I would love to have all around me so that their pretty colors inspire me not to mention hopefully get me thinking on how i can use them in my paper crafting. <br />I would love to hear how you all have your space set up and pictures for me to look at so I might be even more inspired. Just pop a link in your comment if you want and I can come take a peek.<br />I'm planning on some narrow shelving around my work table to put little clear containers on as well as a huge jar I have that I'm going to fill with clothes pins wrapped in pretty ribbons. I'm hoping it will resemble a huge candy jar. You can be sure that i will now be looking at yard sales and flea markets for "pretty" clear containers for all my treasures.<br />Now if I could only get past liking them so much that I don't want to use them and give them away. LOLUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-36294742715237097072008-03-21T00:20:00.002-04:002008-03-21T00:30:52.331-04:00Old friends / New friendsOnce again I can say that my life has been changed by the internet and in a good way. I got an e-mail from a friend I had lost touch with saying she was so sorry to hear about my loss of Christian. Of course her words touched my heart. <br />What I didn't expect was that I was invited to join her yahoo group again and reconnect with some friends I really missed. On top of that other friends that left that group were also invited back in. Now not only are we together but we are given the opportunity to make even more friends.<br />These people are so creative and so open to creativity that it's wonderful sharing ideas and tips and techniques. I'm so glad this friend kept trying. That she didn't give up on me. I love you girl.<br />You all need to take stock in friends that are brought into your life, no matter how they are brought in it. They are like petals to the flower of your life and even though that flower can live without all the petals they make your flower that much prettier.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-50997795811398490112008-03-18T19:08:00.003-04:002008-03-18T19:52:00.938-04:00Christian KissesEver notice that when you are feeling your worst, sad I mean. That place you go where you feel like you will loose your mind and never be able to climb out of? Well for the past couple months I’ve found myself in that very place. In a deep dark hole, crying so hard I can’t stop, actually sobbing like a baby, all because I am selfish and miss my grandson, Christian.<br />Selfish because I’m not the only one that lost him and feel that loss to the very depths of my soul. The number of others that feel this sudden loss is unbelievable. The amount of people who’s lives this little guy were touched by his smile, the look from his eyes, the sound of his laugh or even through just the stories those of us that were privileged enough to actually know him would share. He has changed lives and continues to do so. You ask, okay so what are Christian Kisses? I’ll tell you, I’ll give you just a few examples because I feel they are special, the ones given to me are for me. You all need to open your hearts up to feel your own from him.<br />One of the very first ones I remember where at his memorial service, while I was reading a special note telling my feelings about him, relaying some of my memories about him. Right in the middle, a really touching part, I started to cry, lost control and was having a difficult time getting back to the task at hand. Not only could I not speak but I couldn’t even see the paper I was referring to so as not to repeat myself. Suddenly, there was this awful sound, the sound of back feed from the microphone. It squealed loudly and broke the moment for just a bit. First thing I did was to look over my shoulder at the my beloved grandson and I said to him, "okay, okay, I’ll get on with it, stop yelling at me." Just like he was there actually yelling at me... well scolding me, he never really yelled at anyone. Then I was able to continue my loving message to all about him without another problem. Everyone in the room, at the exact moment I turned and spoke to Christian, stopped crying also, they all just sat there and seemed to be waiting for a reply from him. They all felt exactly what I had felt. A small tiny kiss on my cheek from the little boy I would surely see again some day.<br />The only other one I will share, at risk of not getting any more kisses is this one. On the ride home with Ray, it got really cloudy and rainy. We were heading into the mountains in Tennessee I think, or was it Kansas? I’m awful with geography. Doesn’t matter, we were heading into the mountains on our way home from his service and I am really scared of that part of the trip. I’ve only done it twice before but the very first time I spent it laying down in the back seat of dad’s van pretending to be asleep because the road was winding and steep and scary to me. The second time I at least sat up for most of it but was no less scared. So here I was tensing up for yet one more trip through the scary mountains.<br />All of a sudden the clouds parted, yep parted. The sun shown through them onto the road and right in front of us was driving a Sysco Foods truck. Sysco Foods is the company Ray drives for in Florida. We see their trucks all the time so why would this one be that important?<br />Right away I reached for my camera to take a shot of it. I managed to snap the picture at the perfect time, right as we were passing a highway sign saying where we were. It was a shot you would think only a professional photographer could have taken, not me. As soon as I took the shot it started getting cloudy again and drizzle started hitting the windshield.<br />I switched over the camera to look at the shot I had just gotten and of course while in that mode I scanned through the other pictures. One of them was of the very last glass ornament I would make with Christian’s Christmas picture in it. Well the second to last as I hadn’t gotten this past Christmas picture yet. Sandra was late getting them out. Anyway there I was looking into his eyes once again and I felt this peace settle over me. I wasn’t worried about the road, the mountains or anything. I wasn’t afraid. I think because I knew that it was out of our hands and that if it were my time to go then he (Christian) would be right there waiting for me as he will be for all of us that loved him.<br />So there you have it, two samples of what I like to call Christian Kisses. They happen mostly when I am sad thinking about loosing him. At the worst times of being selfish because "I" lost him and won’t be able to hug him, hear him, smell him. I’m not the only one that lost him and it’s not fair that I feel like I am, but that’s when he kisses me and reminds me that he is still with me. All the other times I like to think he is kissing someone else that needs his kiss. Someone like his momma.<br />I haven’t told her about these. I don’t know if it is the "right time" to tell her. I only hope that she feels them and recognizes them to help her through this awful time in her life.<br />Christian was only here for us to borrow just like everyone else. We can’t "keep" anyone. We can only open our hearts up to love with all of our passion and abilities and then deal with the sadness when that one we love so deeply is gone from us for a time, whether on this earth or not. I need to believe all those that we love are with us as angels watching over us and we will see them again when our time to leave this earth is here.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-69365169590878099182008-01-12T12:52:00.000-05:002008-01-12T13:03:54.527-05:00Our little angel got his wingson january 7, 2008 my grandson christian got his wings.<br />his life started as a struggle and ended in peace. he was born on july 5, 2000 weighing in at only 1 pound 8 ounces. the doctors and nurses made sure to explain to his mother, sandra and i that it would be a miracle if he survived the night. when he did they told us it would be day to day.<br />seven and a half years later that dreaded day came. fortunately for us we didn't dwell on the possibility of the end we concentrated and reveled in the life of this brave little boy.<br />christian touched more lives than we will ever know. like the commercial that states, "and she'll tell to friends, and so on..." is how it will continue to happen.<br />getting to personally know this remarkable child was a privilege and i was one of those people that this privilege was bestowed upon. i was the one he called "gramma"... i was one of the ones that got to sit and hold him, to touch him, to breathe him in. i was one of the ones that he looked into my eyes right down to the depths of my soul. i was one of those that he taught how to live, without anger, spite, and self pity. i was one of the ones he taught to live and love whole hardily and i will never be able to thank him enough.<br />i had always struggled with my faith. i knew or at least hoped that there was something... no need to put a name to it... but something... since christian's passing i've been shown many many things that prove the existence of something else... someplace else... a place where my little grandboy is waiting...<br />waiting with open arms and when i get up there the first thing i will see is him, arms outstretched, running to me and then jumping up in my arms, wrapping those arms around my neck and kissing me and then saying, "gramma where have you been, i missed you..." which are all the things i could see he wanted to do by looking in his beautiful brown eyes that he couldn't do in the body he was given, but now he can...<br />i am at peace knowing i will see him again...<br />I Love You Munchkin' I will miss you but will continue to feel your presence in my life.<br />GrammaUnknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-23265813420156484682007-09-10T02:22:00.000-04:002007-09-10T02:29:24.782-04:00wee hours of the morningand i'm awake... i was in bed... for a few hours now... watching some tevoed shows and getting myself sleepy so that i could get some rest... but what happens... hubby calls me to leave a message not to worry if he's not home on time in the morning cause one of his drivers got his truck stuck in sand... hmmm sand... florida... what an idiot... lol not my hubby but the other driver... tried to bang a u turn in the sand on the side of the road with a huge tractor... yup what an idiot.. and what does this intelligent driver say to my hubby??? "it's okay, i know what i'm doing." lol he sure does... he's staying stuck until they get a tow truck out to him... in the mean time my dh is going to run out of hours according to d.o.t. regulations and that's not a good thing, not to mention that the trailers of food are probably going to be late to their day delivery drivers which is going to make customers ticked... you know... the trickle down effect... lol<br />so here i am, writing in my blog instead of sleeping because i heard the machine, not the phone ringing, someone talking in my living room... on the machine... so i just had to get up to see what and who it was... and now i'm awake... argh... tomorrow is going to be a very lonnnnng day for me and my hubby... i guarantee it... lolUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-29129870794492544352007-09-08T07:55:00.000-04:002008-12-11T04:57:02.717-05:00i may never work outside again... argh...<div><div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYE-fhPSFg632m53SPR_ASE41oy3kfBDd3LOdRygvuZ1HMru0pMrIr3GYTocswVCtvYH3bcL6lzeGUF62eOmxCkFnpo9TDNJuh6cZG2tPts9sqWGG3Zc8w-ApoER_8V7vIoGkf5xCDhLlt/s1600-h/black+and+yellow+argiope+spider.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107801002072195954" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" height="197" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYE-fhPSFg632m53SPR_ASE41oy3kfBDd3LOdRygvuZ1HMru0pMrIr3GYTocswVCtvYH3bcL6lzeGUF62eOmxCkFnpo9TDNJuh6cZG2tPts9sqWGG3Zc8w-ApoER_8V7vIoGkf5xCDhLlt/s200/black+and+yellow+argiope+spider.jpg" width="208" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkuxsxc0CDThhaH7-GdvYQCnrIdYLjkBIPI6QozzYcEnfKBN6p37Hwk8NCCeGB378mCBXKJ9m7IJ05T-SIiC3kR-6NSuarK14KOlqR9nfsFWxKAITBLCHG2x1tAYMtcbr5wG3T5s9hLvCg/s1600-h/argiope3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107803338534404994" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkuxsxc0CDThhaH7-GdvYQCnrIdYLjkBIPI6QozzYcEnfKBN6p37Hwk8NCCeGB378mCBXKJ9m7IJ05T-SIiC3kR-6NSuarK14KOlqR9nfsFWxKAITBLCHG2x1tAYMtcbr5wG3T5s9hLvCg/s200/argiope3.jpg" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmCvLODyiV1BpbuAf0YRyUvwXjjEOt5loGOSi7bG1TfNYYGroeh6yRv7AEEQU2U2QpAZZUqlst9Dii_OT2WYUdvf6miq_WRLj10O7h3yK0Go-4WiNucTQDKdPwPIJ0vkPWWTml0AyPQPo8/s1600-h/argiope1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107804042909041586" style="WIDTH: 198px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 199px" height="163" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmCvLODyiV1BpbuAf0YRyUvwXjjEOt5loGOSi7bG1TfNYYGroeh6yRv7AEEQU2U2QpAZZUqlst9Dii_OT2WYUdvf6miq_WRLj10O7h3yK0Go-4WiNucTQDKdPwPIJ0vkPWWTml0AyPQPo8/s320/argiope1.jpg" width="162" border="0" /></a><br /><br /></div><div><span style="color:#990000;">The largest orb weaver in our gardens is the black and yellow argiope (Argiope aurantia). Actually, only the female is large, the males being much smaller by comparison. Although big enough to deliver a bite, these spiders are not poisonous or aggressive. The black and yellow argiope is also called banana spider, yellow garden spider, zipper spider, golden orb weaver and writing spider. There are a number of other species in the genus Argiope, but most that occur in the U.S. are restricted to tropical climates. A related species inhabits gardens in Europe. Because they make such big webs and are brightly colored, it is impossible for a resident argiope to remain <span style="color:#ff0000;">unnoticed</span> in the garden or, as they sometimes look for sheltered areas, on the side of a house. (unnoticed my butt...)</span><br /></div><div></div><div>okay so my gardens are being invaded by these huge yet really beautiful yet really icky spiders... they are everywhere... first two of them decided to build their webs and lay their eggs in one of my gardens out back beside my patio... </div><br /><div>being the weird nature lover at first i just watched them and kept an eye on them from the safety of my screened patio... then my dh saw them and soaked them with the closest bug spray he could find. wasp spray... good choice since he could spray from a distance of 25 feet... he also shot down a huge and i mean huge egg sac...</div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetkMhEiPFjuAnGFUnC7yrHYg_B-_AS_9F3I0bQbCQqszHn94gJomdjxN1rVpP-0NftAxvllL44bxbUAnw3ntAlVXXlOB52ORPz1qLcapt_KYJfbhLtL07iwuj41lJzK6I8p06rqI7sJ95/s1600-h/argiopeegg.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107803407253881746" style="WIDTH: 94px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 122px" height="177" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetkMhEiPFjuAnGFUnC7yrHYg_B-_AS_9F3I0bQbCQqszHn94gJomdjxN1rVpP-0NftAxvllL44bxbUAnw3ntAlVXXlOB52ORPz1qLcapt_KYJfbhLtL07iwuj41lJzK6I8p06rqI7sJ95/s320/argiopeegg.jpg" width="115" border="0" /></a> <div>now i have done extensive research on these rather large creatures and even though it says they are not aggressive and not poisonous to humans i still get the creeps just seeing them in areas around my house... and this morning as i was sending my dh off to his weekly golf game there was yet another... or was it one of the ones he thought he sprayed the other day... either way... there she was... hanging from the eaves in front of the garage door... the very same garage door that we use to leave and return to our home... the same garage door that i'm expected to use while going out grocery shopping this morning... ewwww <shivers>... </div><br /><div>i don't think i will ever garden again... maybe not even leave my house again... maybe i'm not as much of a nature lover as i once thought i was... lmao</div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-80253126143447067692007-09-07T23:57:00.000-04:002007-09-08T00:03:17.080-04:00internet friendswho says you can't make friends all over the world and not leave the comfort of your house...? well actually pretty much no one anymore... thanks to the internet...<br />i just spent a great evening with a bunch of very creative, friendly women sharing crafting ideas and tips and links to sites to spend money that shouldn't be spent but hey it makes us happy to spend it... <br />thanks to the internet i've got some friends now that i would have never met in my lifetime and hopefully they will be my friends for the rest of my lifetime. <br />it's great to open up a conference room and just share... encourage, laugh, just sit and either listen or watch the type fly by in the chat... <br />my life is much more rounded with these new friends in it and i wouldn't have it any other way.<br />at least there is one more thing in technology that i'm happy for...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-81873966260296374282007-09-06T22:10:00.000-04:002008-12-11T04:57:02.857-05:00marathon calls<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXNjW1Bochx6nDMrt4D0EUXpQteL3KBwMGTRNYhweD681q18Gi_gDqx06wTswe_UMcR_EB8n-2nEqxUT_GYQ1R-qqQbKv8k0oQMJaGe9fkN9iZ8q7rx994U9sgCdpmxDoCxkrwTNP3ib6K/s1600-h/Mare1.3%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXNjW1Bochx6nDMrt4D0EUXpQteL3KBwMGTRNYhweD681q18Gi_gDqx06wTswe_UMcR_EB8n-2nEqxUT_GYQ1R-qqQbKv8k0oQMJaGe9fkN9iZ8q7rx994U9sgCdpmxDoCxkrwTNP3ib6K/s320/Mare1.3%5B1%5D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107284347571258210" /></a><br />ever have one of those marathon calls with a really close friend? you know... the ones that you are still in the middle of the conversation that started hours ago and the battery on your cordless phone just dies on you and you have to race to the other phone to pick it up before you get disconnected? well i had one of those calls tonight.<br />she and i usually talk once a week. almost like clockwork and for the most part we always find something to talk about. conversation just comes so easy to the both of us with each other. as of yet never an angry word. always just good conversation. either of current events, our lives, our loves, our health or what ever... even conversations about our pets. for us it just doesn't really matter what we talk about as long as we talk to each other.<br />we just went about 3 weeks not talking for one reason or another. missed calls because of my paranoia with electrical storms and phones. her daring to take a vacation and not be around to talk to me. me being too sick to just lay on the couch and talk cause the room spins too much... but really her daring to take a vacation... that was a big one... lol just kidding mare... <G><br />i do love those phone calls, but i must admit, i would much rather live close enough to her to be able to play together. i mean craft, visit, have coffee, keep each other company. spend time together just being us.<br />her hubby works out of town during the week and mine works nights. we find ourselves in similar situations. we are with the men we love with all our hearts but without them more than we would like. <br />we are so much alike yet so different that we compliment each other without even saying a word. we think alike yet can advise or question at the drop of a hat and come up with things that the other just wouldn't have even thought of and then after it's said... say "oh yeah... that's right."<br />we lovingly call each other sis even though we used to be sis in laws and now aren't... it's not that kind of sis... i feel like if i could pick a sister she would be the one i would pick. she accepts me for who i am and what i am and what i believe in... she doesn't judge me just loves me for who i am... and in return i do all that for her. <br />you know the type of friend you have that when you are out and a little thing makes you think of someone in your life... you know what i mean... you see something and say oh she would like that or oh that reminds me of when she and i... that type of friend... that's her. she's in every corner of my life without actually being right there. <br />for me her friendship feels unconditional... no score keeping, no tallies, just there, when ever needed and more so when not needed. there to just be there... <br />that's who mare is to me..<br />so have you ever had that type of friend... if so, when was the last time you told them they WERE that type of friend? when was the last time you just chit chatted with them and felt the love? when is the last time you told them you loved them? for me it was today. now it's your turn...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-13182657290293015642007-08-18T07:54:00.000-04:002007-08-18T08:07:53.316-04:00Tag You're It...I've Been Tagged....<br /> <br />A very good friend of mine, Sandy, tagged me and now I need to finish these statements and then tag someone.....<br /><br />I'm happiest when.... I'm home with my hubby and we are having one of those chatty days... love hearing his thoughts and dreams.<br /><br />Someday I'm going to... become less of a procrastinator and actually finish all of the little craft projects that are in drawers, boxes and bags that are half finished... Oh my, what will I ever do then?<br /><br />When I'm really down, what I want to do is... learn how to just shake it off and get on with life.<br /><br />I feel anxious when... Ray calls me to say he's on his way home... I just can't wait to be around him.<br /><br />I like people who... think of others before themselves, smile when it's hardest to do so and are honest and trustworthy.<br /><br />All it takes to make me happy is... being around other happy people.<br /><br />What I really want to do is... stay on this Earth forever to be able to look after all of those that I love.<br /><br />A person really should...worry about themselves and their loved ones instead of everything else around them that really doesn't concern them. I would think the world would be a much happier place then.<br /><br />If I could do whatever I wanted, I would... make the world a better place, ie, stop pain and suffering, cure illnesses, whip out hunger, teach our children to be more tolerant, and a bunch more things that I just can't think of right now.<br /><br />Okay Sandra, Jessica and Mom now you've been tagged... You're it....Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-35072432829339589172007-08-02T00:35:00.000-04:002007-08-02T00:47:17.580-04:00i know i knowlong time no blog... lol well i'm here now and let's see if i can put something interesting together for y'all to read...<br />topic... mortality<br />i understand the circle of life thing and that dying is part of living and all but it doesn't mean i have to like it... or accept it... and i don't...<br />i used to be afraid of the pain of death... of how i was going to die and used to pray to God that it would be a peaceful and painless death.<br />since having kids that has all changed... becoming a mother and then a grandmother has caused me to rethink this whole dying thing.<br />when my kids were little all i could think about in terms of dying was that i wanted to live long enough to see them do the big things... go to school, graduate, marry and start families of their own... to see what kind of people they grew into and relish in the fact that i made it that long... then i would be at peace to thank God and move on if i had to... and now that's changed too... <br />next came grandchildren... now that old fear has risen up in me again... now i want to put off the inevitable... once again... for as long as i could so that i can now see my grandchildren do the big things... you know... go to school, graduate, marry... all that stuff all over again... <br />so there you have it... that circle of life stuff all over and over and over... it never stops... it keeps going on with or without us... just hopefully with us for a very, very long time... at least that's one of the things i pray for..Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-73583223330913589922007-07-09T02:30:00.000-04:002008-12-11T04:57:03.175-05:00The Science Museum<div>sandra, christian, mom, lisa and her two boys, ben and luke and myself all went to the science museum in st. louis, missouri on the 6th. after work, lisa's hubby brian joined us. can i just tell you??? we had a blast... what fun watching the wonder on young kids faces... the amazement and excitement was electrifying... </div><br /><br /><div>it was free to go in but there were certain parts that you had to pay to go in or to see... we paid for two things... one was the discovery room... lots of fun stuff in there to play with... though i didn't think it made sense to have to pay there except for the fact that there was a limit to the amount of people allowed in at one time... but it wasn't like there was a speaker or something... </div><br /><br /><div>there were different stations in there that the kids could check out... there was a water station that had these plastic "walls" that you put in to redirect the flow of the water which was pretty cool except for the fact that there were two "older" boys hogging the thing... HOW RUDE... lol</div><br /><br /><div>there were stations with computers set up for little ones to do rhyming words and another one that was touch screen to learn about different dinosaurs and the cool part of that one was that you used 3d glasses to see the dinosaurs running at you... pretty cool....</div><br /><br /><div>there were plenty of other stations in the room to keep us all busy... i think christian really enjoyed it... i know ben and luke did... and it was easier to keep track of them in the closed room... lol</div><br /><br /><div>the other place we paid to go into was the marvel comic room... wow was that a blast... i took a bunch of pictures in there too... i know sandy don't yell at me for not posting more of them here... i'm going to scrap them all into their own book from that day because i took so many... no way to do just a double spread... too much to say... too much to show... lol</div><br /><br /><div>all in all it was a great day... for not only the kids but for the adults too... i would go back in a minute... it was that much fun...</div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvn6VWNThI-ozF7zwMLtg18ysvG16FlYkLtK-WmIXzG0hPJbpPJ5PX4tBYYx-peCulEAFaKDR5OvftayGeRYTVj10jjiGzNbaKOoyGJ7RmEQefU10R8xhXGsv7SI00awi43otI3NOgImuX/s1600-h/gramma+with+christian+and+spiderman.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5085084051548356322" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvn6VWNThI-ozF7zwMLtg18ysvG16FlYkLtK-WmIXzG0hPJbpPJ5PX4tBYYx-peCulEAFaKDR5OvftayGeRYTVj10jjiGzNbaKOoyGJ7RmEQefU10R8xhXGsv7SI00awi43otI3NOgImuX/s320/gramma+with+christian+and+spiderman.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGOd0y0YcXCGCXWP-jKwTXhYUsvCcH_Ytpys2Ep9ln9EJfMmozQU4u4rrUn2iuzAzZcObOlNI4Zw-5xjqM3Nqd10xklIJ06pbBTJweIzswBt8j8S3z8sCM1YVC2BeLwGWUlpHAHQL1iWUZ/s1600-h/christian+touching+electricity+with+storm.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5085084588419268338" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGOd0y0YcXCGCXWP-jKwTXhYUsvCcH_Ytpys2Ep9ln9EJfMmozQU4u4rrUn2iuzAzZcObOlNI4Zw-5xjqM3Nqd10xklIJ06pbBTJweIzswBt8j8S3z8sCM1YVC2BeLwGWUlpHAHQL1iWUZ/s320/christian+touching+electricity+with+storm.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div></div><div></div><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4842380209633263653.post-59869444140980326952007-07-05T10:41:00.001-04:002008-12-11T04:57:03.451-05:00My 4th of July Boy<div>okay so mom, dad and i are all settled in at sandra's and christian's for 2 weeks... but i think i already told you that... oh well, the hazards of dealing with an old woman... lol</div><br /><div>as you all know yesterday was the 4th of july... cookouts and fireworks... love the 4th... you could say it's my favorite day of the year. well at least it has been for the past 7 years anyway... we had some real dark clouds roll in late afternoon and hung around for most of the evening... thought that was going to muck up the fireworks for the first time since christian was born... that would have sucked... but nope, just in time for them to start the sky cleared... what an amazing sunset... i'll pop a picture of it in so you can see it...</div><br /><div>when we arrive at the cookout the first time, sandra and i showed up just the two of us... boy did we get some shit over that... everyone was asking where christian was... they don't care that we were there just that he wasn't... he's such a star... lol we had to explain to them that he's at home with o'ma and o'pa for now and we were going to go get them in a while for the fireworks... not very happy people but happier to know that he was going to come anyway... lol</div><br /><div>when we did go get them and brought them back not only was he all excited about seeing everyone but he was also excited about getting to see the fireworks... we have him convinced that the show is just for him for his birthday... lol he loves the big bang and the whistling when they head up and the colors...<br />usually he jumps around and just smiles and squeals but this year he did something new also... when the lower ones were going off, the ones with just color no bang, he just stared at them... didn't move... like he was hypnotized... it was great to watch him...</div><br /><div>i don't get to see very many of them myself because i'm sitting there snapping picture after picture because anyone that knows me knows i can't get enough pictures of christian... besides i watch them thru his eyes... he just lights up when they are going off... it's amazing... and yes i know most kids are the same way but with christian it's something more... his eyes are just so full of wonder... i hope he never looses that... </div><br /><div>okay so it's 11am and my girl is sleeping on the couch... she got to bed (couch cause mom and dad are in her bed) late last night and up early this morning to get our munchkin off to school... she's on vacation this week which is great because i actually get to visit with her... usually she has to work... i can't even begin to tell you how much i miss her...<br /></div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdORKdm8y67HwfuJx6jiooxDp5JyVEN4a_hdr3UbmWsZGWlbd-3Nso-LQXsqJn_khK4HusIkUeXrkR0mRCNAaVLKsLrmkBCZbCEfDb6xpMsOZBs_Mbx7kxrdoXoWCOHMUpOnBgUQx6ZnOF/s1600-h/IMG_0218.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083729607841758898" style="CURSOR: hand" height="167" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdORKdm8y67HwfuJx6jiooxDp5JyVEN4a_hdr3UbmWsZGWlbd-3Nso-LQXsqJn_khK4HusIkUeXrkR0mRCNAaVLKsLrmkBCZbCEfDb6xpMsOZBs_Mbx7kxrdoXoWCOHMUpOnBgUQx6ZnOF/s320/IMG_0218.JPG" width="240" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZ4XOf1wbBVlH22GPjJstFCoSmJLeHC8gaPBX3zcpX2Ak1OfeklkNGpJrRFxZHsYtlUZynZYJkeblcl1yTIf8WtNes5Jfe3ADPHaTfxjKvP3DmKznK-HaSWyo3grM1X9_U9Bpnzv-EEci/s1600-h/IMG_0244.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083735474767085266" style="WIDTH: 280px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 168px" height="164" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJZ4XOf1wbBVlH22GPjJstFCoSmJLeHC8gaPBX3zcpX2Ak1OfeklkNGpJrRFxZHsYtlUZynZYJkeblcl1yTIf8WtNes5Jfe3ADPHaTfxjKvP3DmKznK-HaSWyo3grM1X9_U9Bpnzv-EEci/s320/IMG_0244.JPG" width="280" border="0" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqOGqLffYB7i0vzfWoJDeMO-mCv-s_uWm6So3SHA6Or0O8fveWN8fIfP4E8hXuUrCxmj9JXG8sfZW5RiqOhYMsHL8RFP2ZkhFIivolU1BV_IaCK54ovpIY37NyC8DAEX2-BjD61TK5jXn0/s1600-h/IMG_0261.JPG"></a></div><br /><div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1