I guess I've been hit by the spring cleaning bug. At least in my craft room. I rearranged it a few months ago and removed the big ole bulky desk that was just sitting in it collecting piles of "stuff". With that out I found I had tons of space to play with.
My problem is getting it set up just the way I want to make it a more productive space. I love having my favorite toys right up and close to me but, I have tons of little things in clear small containers that I would love to have all around me so that their pretty colors inspire me not to mention hopefully get me thinking on how i can use them in my paper crafting.
I would love to hear how you all have your space set up and pictures for me to look at so I might be even more inspired. Just pop a link in your comment if you want and I can come take a peek.
I'm planning on some narrow shelving around my work table to put little clear containers on as well as a huge jar I have that I'm going to fill with clothes pins wrapped in pretty ribbons. I'm hoping it will resemble a huge candy jar. You can be sure that i will now be looking at yard sales and flea markets for "pretty" clear containers for all my treasures.
Now if I could only get past liking them so much that I don't want to use them and give them away. LOL
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Old friends / New friends
Once again I can say that my life has been changed by the internet and in a good way. I got an e-mail from a friend I had lost touch with saying she was so sorry to hear about my loss of Christian. Of course her words touched my heart.
What I didn't expect was that I was invited to join her yahoo group again and reconnect with some friends I really missed. On top of that other friends that left that group were also invited back in. Now not only are we together but we are given the opportunity to make even more friends.
These people are so creative and so open to creativity that it's wonderful sharing ideas and tips and techniques. I'm so glad this friend kept trying. That she didn't give up on me. I love you girl.
You all need to take stock in friends that are brought into your life, no matter how they are brought in it. They are like petals to the flower of your life and even though that flower can live without all the petals they make your flower that much prettier.
What I didn't expect was that I was invited to join her yahoo group again and reconnect with some friends I really missed. On top of that other friends that left that group were also invited back in. Now not only are we together but we are given the opportunity to make even more friends.
These people are so creative and so open to creativity that it's wonderful sharing ideas and tips and techniques. I'm so glad this friend kept trying. That she didn't give up on me. I love you girl.
You all need to take stock in friends that are brought into your life, no matter how they are brought in it. They are like petals to the flower of your life and even though that flower can live without all the petals they make your flower that much prettier.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Christian Kisses
Ever notice that when you are feeling your worst, sad I mean. That place you go where you feel like you will loose your mind and never be able to climb out of? Well for the past couple months I’ve found myself in that very place. In a deep dark hole, crying so hard I can’t stop, actually sobbing like a baby, all because I am selfish and miss my grandson, Christian.
Selfish because I’m not the only one that lost him and feel that loss to the very depths of my soul. The number of others that feel this sudden loss is unbelievable. The amount of people who’s lives this little guy were touched by his smile, the look from his eyes, the sound of his laugh or even through just the stories those of us that were privileged enough to actually know him would share. He has changed lives and continues to do so. You ask, okay so what are Christian Kisses? I’ll tell you, I’ll give you just a few examples because I feel they are special, the ones given to me are for me. You all need to open your hearts up to feel your own from him.
One of the very first ones I remember where at his memorial service, while I was reading a special note telling my feelings about him, relaying some of my memories about him. Right in the middle, a really touching part, I started to cry, lost control and was having a difficult time getting back to the task at hand. Not only could I not speak but I couldn’t even see the paper I was referring to so as not to repeat myself. Suddenly, there was this awful sound, the sound of back feed from the microphone. It squealed loudly and broke the moment for just a bit. First thing I did was to look over my shoulder at the my beloved grandson and I said to him, "okay, okay, I’ll get on with it, stop yelling at me." Just like he was there actually yelling at me... well scolding me, he never really yelled at anyone. Then I was able to continue my loving message to all about him without another problem. Everyone in the room, at the exact moment I turned and spoke to Christian, stopped crying also, they all just sat there and seemed to be waiting for a reply from him. They all felt exactly what I had felt. A small tiny kiss on my cheek from the little boy I would surely see again some day.
The only other one I will share, at risk of not getting any more kisses is this one. On the ride home with Ray, it got really cloudy and rainy. We were heading into the mountains in Tennessee I think, or was it Kansas? I’m awful with geography. Doesn’t matter, we were heading into the mountains on our way home from his service and I am really scared of that part of the trip. I’ve only done it twice before but the very first time I spent it laying down in the back seat of dad’s van pretending to be asleep because the road was winding and steep and scary to me. The second time I at least sat up for most of it but was no less scared. So here I was tensing up for yet one more trip through the scary mountains.
All of a sudden the clouds parted, yep parted. The sun shown through them onto the road and right in front of us was driving a Sysco Foods truck. Sysco Foods is the company Ray drives for in Florida. We see their trucks all the time so why would this one be that important?
Right away I reached for my camera to take a shot of it. I managed to snap the picture at the perfect time, right as we were passing a highway sign saying where we were. It was a shot you would think only a professional photographer could have taken, not me. As soon as I took the shot it started getting cloudy again and drizzle started hitting the windshield.
I switched over the camera to look at the shot I had just gotten and of course while in that mode I scanned through the other pictures. One of them was of the very last glass ornament I would make with Christian’s Christmas picture in it. Well the second to last as I hadn’t gotten this past Christmas picture yet. Sandra was late getting them out. Anyway there I was looking into his eyes once again and I felt this peace settle over me. I wasn’t worried about the road, the mountains or anything. I wasn’t afraid. I think because I knew that it was out of our hands and that if it were my time to go then he (Christian) would be right there waiting for me as he will be for all of us that loved him.
So there you have it, two samples of what I like to call Christian Kisses. They happen mostly when I am sad thinking about loosing him. At the worst times of being selfish because "I" lost him and won’t be able to hug him, hear him, smell him. I’m not the only one that lost him and it’s not fair that I feel like I am, but that’s when he kisses me and reminds me that he is still with me. All the other times I like to think he is kissing someone else that needs his kiss. Someone like his momma.
I haven’t told her about these. I don’t know if it is the "right time" to tell her. I only hope that she feels them and recognizes them to help her through this awful time in her life.
Christian was only here for us to borrow just like everyone else. We can’t "keep" anyone. We can only open our hearts up to love with all of our passion and abilities and then deal with the sadness when that one we love so deeply is gone from us for a time, whether on this earth or not. I need to believe all those that we love are with us as angels watching over us and we will see them again when our time to leave this earth is here.
Selfish because I’m not the only one that lost him and feel that loss to the very depths of my soul. The number of others that feel this sudden loss is unbelievable. The amount of people who’s lives this little guy were touched by his smile, the look from his eyes, the sound of his laugh or even through just the stories those of us that were privileged enough to actually know him would share. He has changed lives and continues to do so. You ask, okay so what are Christian Kisses? I’ll tell you, I’ll give you just a few examples because I feel they are special, the ones given to me are for me. You all need to open your hearts up to feel your own from him.
One of the very first ones I remember where at his memorial service, while I was reading a special note telling my feelings about him, relaying some of my memories about him. Right in the middle, a really touching part, I started to cry, lost control and was having a difficult time getting back to the task at hand. Not only could I not speak but I couldn’t even see the paper I was referring to so as not to repeat myself. Suddenly, there was this awful sound, the sound of back feed from the microphone. It squealed loudly and broke the moment for just a bit. First thing I did was to look over my shoulder at the my beloved grandson and I said to him, "okay, okay, I’ll get on with it, stop yelling at me." Just like he was there actually yelling at me... well scolding me, he never really yelled at anyone. Then I was able to continue my loving message to all about him without another problem. Everyone in the room, at the exact moment I turned and spoke to Christian, stopped crying also, they all just sat there and seemed to be waiting for a reply from him. They all felt exactly what I had felt. A small tiny kiss on my cheek from the little boy I would surely see again some day.
The only other one I will share, at risk of not getting any more kisses is this one. On the ride home with Ray, it got really cloudy and rainy. We were heading into the mountains in Tennessee I think, or was it Kansas? I’m awful with geography. Doesn’t matter, we were heading into the mountains on our way home from his service and I am really scared of that part of the trip. I’ve only done it twice before but the very first time I spent it laying down in the back seat of dad’s van pretending to be asleep because the road was winding and steep and scary to me. The second time I at least sat up for most of it but was no less scared. So here I was tensing up for yet one more trip through the scary mountains.
All of a sudden the clouds parted, yep parted. The sun shown through them onto the road and right in front of us was driving a Sysco Foods truck. Sysco Foods is the company Ray drives for in Florida. We see their trucks all the time so why would this one be that important?
Right away I reached for my camera to take a shot of it. I managed to snap the picture at the perfect time, right as we were passing a highway sign saying where we were. It was a shot you would think only a professional photographer could have taken, not me. As soon as I took the shot it started getting cloudy again and drizzle started hitting the windshield.
I switched over the camera to look at the shot I had just gotten and of course while in that mode I scanned through the other pictures. One of them was of the very last glass ornament I would make with Christian’s Christmas picture in it. Well the second to last as I hadn’t gotten this past Christmas picture yet. Sandra was late getting them out. Anyway there I was looking into his eyes once again and I felt this peace settle over me. I wasn’t worried about the road, the mountains or anything. I wasn’t afraid. I think because I knew that it was out of our hands and that if it were my time to go then he (Christian) would be right there waiting for me as he will be for all of us that loved him.
So there you have it, two samples of what I like to call Christian Kisses. They happen mostly when I am sad thinking about loosing him. At the worst times of being selfish because "I" lost him and won’t be able to hug him, hear him, smell him. I’m not the only one that lost him and it’s not fair that I feel like I am, but that’s when he kisses me and reminds me that he is still with me. All the other times I like to think he is kissing someone else that needs his kiss. Someone like his momma.
I haven’t told her about these. I don’t know if it is the "right time" to tell her. I only hope that she feels them and recognizes them to help her through this awful time in her life.
Christian was only here for us to borrow just like everyone else. We can’t "keep" anyone. We can only open our hearts up to love with all of our passion and abilities and then deal with the sadness when that one we love so deeply is gone from us for a time, whether on this earth or not. I need to believe all those that we love are with us as angels watching over us and we will see them again when our time to leave this earth is here.
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